Parenting a teen means being on the receiving end of some serious eye rolls from your offspring. It’s just part of the job. One would think there’s some developmental milestone about checking the top of the head for holes, but no.
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The question is – what’s the best way to handle all the eye rolling? KJ Dell’Antonia, author of How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute and mom of teens herself, recently answered it.
She said parents have a choice when it comes to their response:
“You can take it personally and see it as disrespectful. But you can also take it as ‘this is just my kid right now, and in an hour they’ll be different,’” she said.
“It doesn’t become a big thing if you don’t make it a big thing.”
That reminded me of parenting a toddler, when the best way to stop behavior that drives you crazy is to ignore it. When kids know they’ve gotten a big response, it’s like they are in an elevator – they’ll just keeping pushing the/your buttons. But no response often means they move on to something else.
Dell’Antonia clarified that she’s not saying you should let your child curse at you, or worse.
“You can express your need that they have standard manners without taking it personally,” she says, summing up what I think many of us see as one the big goals of parenting a teen. When our kids lose perspective is when we most need to keep ours.
Read more bout Dell’Antonia’s ways to be a happier parent in this Chicago Parent article, or pick up her book.
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