This post is sponsored by Responsibility.org as part of their Ask, Listen, Learn program. I’m grateful for the opportunity to partner with an organization committed to healthy choices and helping parents start conversations with kids about alcohol, two things I fully support. All opinions, wrong answers given on game shows, and lessons learned are my own.
I recently appeared as a contestant on Jeopardy! As I reflect on my experience on the classic game show, I realize that there are several similarities between it and talking with kids about alcohol. 
You don’t have to go in blind – there are resources to help you anticipate common questions.
Jeopardy! is all about the questions, and while exact questions aren’t repeated, there are topics that come up with some frequency on Jeopardy! Knowing past clues helps you anticipate future ones. That’s why future competitors on the show take full advantage of a website that archives every single one asked on Jeopardy! as well as what the correct one was. (You are usually scheduled about a month out or so, giving you time to prepare.)
Similarly, there are common questions that kids ask about alcohol, and Ask, Listen, Learn offers expert advice on the best ways to approach them in addition to facts about kid and alcohol and suggestions for how to start the conversation yourself.
Listening, really listening, is key.
I’m big on really listening before responding, especially when answering one of your child’s questions. It’s possible, however, that I forgot to do that on one of the questions on Jeopardy!
I heard enough to know that it was about the Revolutionary War, a subject I know a bit about. I got excited and got focused on ringing in first, failing in the process to listen as closely as I should have. I missed the key “fleeing the Redcoats” section of the question, and gave the wrong answer. Although it was a topic I felt prepared for, that wasn’t enough to get it right. I had to listen.
Same goes for when you’re talking with kids about alcohol. You have to know what they’re asking, what information they need and how to best help – none of which you can do if you don’t truly hear them.
It doesn’t always come out of your mouth the way you intend – and that’s okay
Early in the game, one of the responses was about a desert in China. I thought, “China shares a border with Mongolia. Mongolia has the Gobi Desert. That must be it!”
I confidently hit my buzzer.
Then I asked, “What is the Mongolian Desert?”
I. Was. Shocked.
That was not what I meant to say. Gobi. I meant Gobi. Not Mongolian. I know there is no Mongolian Desert! That came out ALL WRONG. ARGH!
And you know what happened? Not much. The game went on. I got other questions right.
When it comes to talking with kids and alcohol, it’s good to have a plan, but even then, what comes out of your mouth may come out differently than you plan in your head. Or the conversation may take an unexpected turn. Or you may feel like it’s just not going well.
That’s okay.
Talking with kids is an ongoing conversation. You don’t have to get it all right on the first try. Stay the course and it’ll be okay.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
There were some clues on Jeopardy! that I didn’t know, so I didn’t ring in, and felt, well, really not smart in those moments. I assumed that the other contestants would know. They did not. Turns out that none of the three of us playing in that game were masters of the Western Novels category.
Parents don’t have to have all the answers, either.
It is more than okay to say, “I don’t know. Let’s look that up together.”
Friends support your choices.
When it came to my wager in Final Jeopardy, I made the choice to play it safe with my wager.
Would it have been more fun and exciting to bet it all?
Probably.
But that’s just not how I roll. And my family friends not only understand that, they supported my choice. It may not be what they would have done, but they don’t think any less of me.
The experience was a great opportunity to talk about how real friends respect each other’s choices and how important those true friendships are to me.
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